


If You Give a Toddler a Blaster

by morwen_of_gondor, Wishfulthinking1979



Series: Inspired By Empire Reimagined [5]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Fluff and Humor, Fox is surprisingly good with children, Fox the Reluctant Babysitter, Gen, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Kid Leia Organa, Kid Luke Skywalker, Luke and Leia are twin menaces to sentience, Padmé Amidala Lives, There is one brain cell in the Skywalker family, This is not one of those occasions, Toddlers, and Padmé has it, and blasters, as in giving the above to children, except on the rare occasions when Obi-Wan borrows it, he just doesn't have a good sense of what they should and shouldn't know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26787751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morwen_of_gondor/pseuds/morwen_of_gondor, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishfulthinking1979/pseuds/Wishfulthinking1979
Summary: Slight crack fic inspired by a text conversation between Morwen and Wishful. First chapter is the text log, which is comedic for its own reasons. Second chapter will be finished fic. Canon for Wishful's AU "When the Mighty Don't Fall".
Relationships: CC-1010 | Fox & Leia Organa, CC-1010 | Fox & Luke Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Inspired By Empire Reimagined [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898620
Comments: 17
Kudos: 61





	If You Give a Toddler a Blaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when Wishful and I get started on Star Wars headcanons. Here it is, a fic as it was originally conceived and texted, in its mostly-unedited glory. The only edits I've made are for grammar and clarity of when there's dialogue.

Morwen:  
I now have this picture in my head of Luke, maybe 2 years old, attaching himself to the fully armoured Fox’s leg like a small limpet and refusing to let go because he likes this one and nobody else was talking to him.  
Cue internal panic from Fox because THIS IS A CHILD, IT’S NOT A CLONE, WHAT DO I DO WITH IT WHAT IF I BREAK IT WHAT DO YOU DO WITH NATBORN KIDS SHOULD I TEACH HIM HOW TO FIRE A BLASTER HE’S SO TINY AAAAAAAAA

Wishful:  
"Hi!" says Luke. "I like you!"

Morwen:  
Fox: Blue screen of death  
Fox: "Hi?"

Wishful:  
Luke: "Why is your helmet red?" *attempts to ascend Fox for a closer look*

Morwen:  
(internally) "OK, pretend he’s a brother. Tiny brother. Blond. Rex? No. Focus. Tiny brother." *tries to gently pry Luke off of his kama*  
(aloud): "I painted it."

Wishful:  
"I can paint! Can I paint it?"

Morwen:  
Internal monologue just kind of combusts at this point.  
"Need diversion, need diversion...." "So what’s your name?"  
(still trying to remove Luke from kama. Luke is surprisingly hard to remove.)

Wishful:  
"I’m Luke! Luke Skywalker! That’s Leia" — gestures to hitherto unseen girl watching them behind doorway. "She likes your blaster."

Morwen:  
*wonders if teaching children to use a DC-17 is allowed*  
*wonders if this is normal behaviour for children*  
..."I’m Fox."

Wishful:  
Leia edges out and reaches to touch blaster muzzle. Luke reaches Fox’s shoulders. "You’re tall! My dad is tall too."

Morwen:  
Fox: .... (well she’s about as tall as I was when I got my first blaster) .... *unholsters blaster, sets to stun (he’s not completely irresponsible), shows Leia how to grip it  
Then, delayed reaction, "Who’s your father?" (internally, oh kriff ohkriffohkriff whose children are these what if they fall down and hurt themselves)

Wishful:  
"Anakin Skywalker," says Leia clearly, having decided Fox is a friend because she is holding his blaster. Thus, friend. "Yup!" Agrees Luke, blissfully unaware of the effect they’re having

Morwen:  
Luke, perceiving turmoil in the force, pat’s Fox’s helmet gently and asks if he’s ok.

Wishful:  
Fox desires to remove the helmet to breathe more freely but he does NOT get panic attacks, he doesn’t.

Morwen:  
He worked with Darth Kriffing Sidious, he is absolutely NOT having a panic attack because General Skywalker’s kids are climbing all over him like he’s a jungle gym.  
Figures he might as well show Leia how to use the blaster though. After all, she does look to be about the right size.  
Also he doesn’t know how else to entertain children.  
Luke seems to be entertaining himself with the visor and antenna on Fox’s armour.  
Luke starts switching the night vision visor up and down. Fox is afraid that if he asks him to stop he’ll do something worse.

Wishful:  
Like offer to paint it 

Morwen:  
Leia, meanwhile, has nailed the nearest tree on the first shot.  
Then she finds the stun/kill switch and asks what that does.

Wishful:  
Fox debates telling her the truth. It was explained to him after all when he was small. Surely Jedi children should know information to help them become warriors..... 

Morwen:  
Maybe Anakin or Padmé should rescue him before he gets any further than that...he’s probably already agreed to let Luke paint his helmet while distracted.  
If no rescue shows up he goes with "this is for practice" (stun) "and this is ONLY EVER for VERY SERIOUS EMERGENCIES".  
Natborns shelter their kids, right? That’s pretty tame.  
Meanwhile Luke crows in glee over the prospect of painting the helmet, and sets to work trying to remove the comms antenna.  
Fox really does grab his hand (still gently because he’s fragile) this time and says no, that needs to stay where it is.

Wishful:  
"Well," says a voice behind him. "Clearly you don’t have enough to do."

Morwen:  
Fox freezes. Luke stops trying to detach the antenna and waves. "Hi Dad! I made a friend!"

Wishful:  
Leia turns as well and narrowly misses her father with a stun blast. She finds this hugely amusing.

Morwen:  
Fox, internally: "I am so dead."  
Fox, externally: tries to come to attention with small child draped over his shoulders.  
Luke, once more, senses distress and pats the top of the helmet.

Wishful:  
"I want one if these," he tells Anakin, who summons blaster from Leia with the force.  
"Maybe you can have Commander Fox’s," Anakin tells him

Morwen:  
Fox: ...why not... "Sure, kid, you can take a look at it."

Wishful:  
Luke takes helmet and slides off of Fox with a bit of help from the commander.  
Anakin folds his arms. "A blaster?" He asks. "For a two year old?"

Morwen:  
Fox raises his hands in something that might be an "I’m unarmed" gesture or a plea for mercy. "I can’t judge natborn ages well, sir," he says, keeping his voice on the placating side of professional. "She looked about the size my brothers were when they got their first lessons, and I had it on stun."  
"And your son had already claimed the helmet," he adds. Sarcasm really can’t make this worse.

Wishful:  
"Stun!" pipes up Leia. "For practice! It was fun daddy!"

Morwen:  
"She’s an excellent shot sir."

Wishful:  
"Of course," says Anakin immediately. "Though I wouldn’t have minded knowing that oh A FEW YEARS FROM NOW!"

Morwen:  
"Sorry sir. Won’t happen again." (He hopes not. He’s not sure he can say no to those brown eyes.)

Wishful:  
"No," says Anakin in dangerously calm tones, "it won’t. Further, commander, no one should give a weapon to a child…."  
The distinctive sound of a lightsaber igniting is heard. "Good work, Luke" says Obi-Wan who has joined them unseen and is watching the boy hold the lightsaber. The very real and deadly weapon. 

Morwen:  
Fox (internally): don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it  
"Of course not, sir."  
Reverts to completely blank face.

Wishful:  
Anakin also slightly frozen in disbelief. "Obi-Wan….. what the kr…..?"  
"Child present," murmured his mentor.  
"….krystals do you think you’re doing?"  
"What krystals?" Asks Leia

Morwen:  
"Look Fox!" Luke exclaims, picking up speed towards Fox, still holding the ignited lightsaber.  
"Look what I can do!"

Wishful:  
"Kill me with ease?" Fox thought internally. "Not the way I was planning to go…."

Morwen:  
"I am going to die of being spitted on a lightsaber by a two year old."  
Anakin and Obi-Wan dive for Luke before he can kill Fox. "What crystals?" Leia repeats, picking up Fox’s blaster from where Anakin dropped it in his mad dive for his son.

Wishful:  
Obi-Wan flings out a hand to summon it. They both flop back to the ground panting.  
"Force," exclaims Anakin, "are you both harboring a death wish?"  
"You produced these spawn," Obi-Wan replies dryly.

Morwen:  
Fox just kind of...sits down. He’s been on his feet all day, after all. This has nothing to do with the two tiny terrifying Skywalker-spawn who have nearly gotten him killed twice now.  
Luke promptly climbs into his lap.

Wishful:  
"My favorite," he says patting the armor on Fox’s chest.  
Anakin raises eyebrow. 

Morwen:  
This is probably where Padme turns up, to see Anakin and Obi-Wan lying on the ground clutching, respectively, Obi-Wan’s lightsaber and a blaster, Leia eyeing the other blaster in Fox’s holster with evident intent, and Luke sitting in his lap. "Do I want to know what happened?" she asks.

Wishful:  
"It’s not my fault!!" Obi-Wan and Anakin say over each other.

Morwen:  
Fox sighs heavily and says nothing, but tries to shoo Leia away from the blaster.

Wishful:  
"Want it," she says solemnly. "Please." 

Morwen:  
Fox turns pleading eyes to Padmé, who is clearly in possession of the brain cell in this situation.  
I’m guessing Padmé picks Leia up and promises blasters when she’s older.

Wishful:  
"And mommy will show you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the actual fic version! (Note that after this Fox is headed off to join Ahsoka's covert ops team, which is why he doesn't show up in the main AU. You'll get more background and closure in said actual fic.)
> 
> Comments feed the plot-bunny and make the authors happy.


End file.
